Setting goals is all very well but what to do when they’ve turned into hideous scourges for us to beat ourselves up with?
I had a particular aim for my business which, nine or ten months ago, I thought was realistic and I nailed my flag to it.
Now I’m close to that date and I’m not going to reach the target and it’s been making me unhappy.
What I’ve worked out is that the idea is still good, the target achievable, and all I need to do to make it better is to change the deadline. I can’t tell you the pressure – self-imposed pressure – that this has relieved for me.
When we get into a state, our stressed energy means things are less likely to work out anyway. So we’re pushing uphill all the way.
Other options could include reducing the size of the target, enlisting help, and letting yourself relinquish it. But call me determined, OK ‘a bloody dog with a bone’ as my nearest and dearest sometimes say, I like achieving things and it’s what I want and what serves my clients best and me and my family and lifestyle best, too.
So I’m not giving up at all: just reframing. Ahh!
The killer overlay What’s changed for me this year is that the WAY I want to achieve this target, and others, is in an entirely different style.
In the past I could get just about anything up once I put my mind to it. Be it responsibility, duty, creativity or fun, once I committed I could almost always get it up – even if it involved pulling an all-nighter, straining my health, ditching other roles and putting everything else on the line. That’s “pushing” energy* and while it can get the focused task done over a short while, there can be a huge cost to employing that style all the time.
Give yourself the space to relax, release and let go of the tight fisted hold you were having on your project. Rest for a wee bit and then get going again, knowing that getting into “flow” is going to provide the best results.
*See ‘Allowing Energy Week’ blog from May 2014.
Actions Is an ambition or aim messing you around because it’s not happened in the time frame you set?
- Can the time be changed?
- Extend it (within reason) and feel the release.
- This is not permission to relax and twiddle your thumbs for months until the deadline looms again and then stress out. Getting juiced on “deadline energy” is not what I’m teaching here.
- Take the opportunity to practice “allowing” energy.
- Articulate your project to the universe or whichever entity you prefer to co-share responsibility with you for success.
- Allow good things to flow – including help: consider reversing your answer if your response is always, “It’s OK, I can do it!”
Let me know how it goes.
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